The Christmas season is all about spending time with the people you love — though unfortunately the people that you hate are also sometimes there.

But fear not, Verdict has compiled a quick list of what to buy for the people you don’t wish to have a happy holiday season — and where you can buy it!

Go deeper with GlobalData

Data Insights

The gold standard of business intelligence.

Find out more

Coal

There has long been the tradition in Western culture of sending coal to someone who’s found themselves on the naughty list.

And for those of you who don’t have easy access to coal, there’s a number of sites that are here to help you let that special someone know you are unimpressed with their behaviour. Sites such as sendcoal.org charge $15 for the delivery of a lump of it in a tasteful burlap sack.

A bag of dicks

These gummy sweets are sent anonymously to the recipient of your choice for $15.00.

You can choose for penis confetti or glitter to be added to the deal, and each pack come with a standard message that tells the receiver to “eat a bag of dicks”.

How well do you really know your competitors?

Access the most comprehensive Company Profiles on the market, powered by GlobalData. Save hours of research. Gain competitive edge.

Company Profile – free sample

Thank you!

Your download email will arrive shortly

Not ready to buy yet? Download a free sample

We are confident about the unique quality of our Company Profiles. However, we want you to make the most beneficial decision for your business, so we offer a free sample that you can download by submitting the below form

By GlobalData
Visit our Privacy Policy for more information about our services, how we may use, process and share your personal data, including information of your rights in respect of your personal data and how you can unsubscribe from future marketing communications. Our services are intended for corporate subscribers and you warrant that the email address submitted is your corporate email address.

A Singing Teddy Bear

Though this gift may initially look like an innocent cuddly toy, it in fact will sing ‘happy birthday’ for up to two hours non-stop.

It doesn’t have an off button and the only way to get it to stop singing is to destroy it. Yours for $19.99.

Cat tongue brush

Ever wanted to brush your cat…with your tongue? No? Nor us.

However, a tongue-like brush called Licki Brush can make this bizarre dream a reality, and would certainly leave the recipient wondering what you thought of them. Especially if they don’t have a cat.

Singing bird clock

This clock will burst out into birdsong at every hour, guaranteed to annoy the recipient at any and every time of day.

Will Maker

For anyone even marginally older than you, this will maker is the one for them. The handy software comes with a Get It Together eBook included.

Prank Candles

These candles start out smelling nice, but after being lit for roughly 40 percent of its burn time, they transform into a rather more unpleasant scent.

They cost around $16 and scents include vanilla to vomit and bubblegum to stank breath.

Terrible Slogan T-shirts

Ideal choices will include sentiments of being a free spirit and some reference to having no regrets.

Poo Pourri

Offensive and gross in equal measure, this gift will leave the recipient strangely insecure about something they probably hadn’t paid much mind to before.

This bizarre product comes in a variety of scents; Lavender Vanilla, Original Citrus and Royal Flush are their best sellers though they also have special Christmas editions to keep things festive.

Self help book

The superficial message is one of concern, but the subtext is almost painfully offensive. Good choices include relationship or self-love guides.